I Will Not Bow
by boxthissideup
Summary: Oneshot. No one would know what the Diviner had gone through in the lapsed time; they would still see him as the man of obedience and order, not for the being he was under the stone mask.


**(A/N: Do now own anything to do with Kingdom Hearts besides the plot. Enjoy, and tell me what you think?**

**Reposting because I realized I had a bit of another drabble written at the end there. Whoops.)**

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_**I Will Not Bow**_

Missions had been delivered and carried out, and only a solitary figure stood in the middle of the Grey Area. One might wonder what it was he did when he was not issuing out the orders brought on by the Superior – or brought on by his own hidden agenda. Truth be told he had his own missions he had to attend to, but that information was something that was delegated between himself, and the man he was forced to serve.

But with the other members not knowing what it was the Diviner did, their complaints about it did not fall on deaf ears. He heard them complain, he heard them question. Most of all they heard that it was out of 'favouritism'. Saïx nearly laughed himself to death when he heard such a notion. He, the Superior's favourite. When he spent day in and day out trying to figure out the man's plan, and destroy it from the inside out. Despite being a tool, and knowing him to be one, that did not mean that Saïx was going to play the role of an obedient dog, rolling over whenever his 'master' instructed him to do so. Xemnas owned him, sure; the mark on his face branding him, showing whomever were to look at him as to who it was that he had to serve, loyally or otherwise.

Tucking his clipboard under his arm, he made his way back through the castle. He kept his eyes open for any signs of movement, mainly of that which should be happening and what was truly. He was certain that a member or two may be ducked around somewhere; more notably, Demyx. He knew that the Nocturne often hid away from his missions, his lack of mission reports enough to tell him so. But all that he passed this day were the spineless, hopeless Dusks, roaming through the castle trying to find some mischief. He could remember when several had begun taking up the act of drawing on the faces of sleeping members, and he had to admit he found some of the times amusing, as long as it was not he who was victim to their attacks.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw several of the creatures bouncing and flipping, their gaze locked onto the Diviner. Saïx rose an eyebrow and turned so his full body was facing the beings. "What?" He nearly snarled, having no patience at the current time. He knew that they could give him no true answer, having no use of words, but they still had ways of communicating. The things nearly stared at him, continuously moving, tilting their head from side to side. It was almost as though they were laughing at him, mocking him over something even he could not place. He scowled, and turned on his heel, continuing off to his destination.

The white of the castle's walls blurred as he made his way down the seemingly endless corridors. How often was it that he walked this path? He wouldn't be able to answer that even if he tried. He made his way up to the line of numbered rooms, walking the corridor until he reached the final office. _I._ Xemnas' study. He gave a small shake of his head, debating if he should even go in. Xemnas was surely away at this point, and going in there was a waste of time; but if he was wrong he would surely have to pay the price. With a sigh, he knocked on the man's door, and waited for a response.

"Enter." The deep voice of his Superior greeted. Saïx shook his head slightly; it appeared that the fates were not on his side this morning. Grasping the clipboard tightly, he pushed open the door and looked around the white of his office. His eyes fell onto the back of the chair that was facing him. Kicking the door shut with his heel, the sound of the clicking door and Xemnas' chair turning to face him. Gold met with an overpowering orange, and a half attempted grin.

"Saïx," Xemnas leaned over his desk, bending his elbows and placing his chin in his hands. His eyes stayed unblinking as he motioned for the Diviner to come closer. Obeying the silent request, no, order, he approached his desk, but made no move to sit, knowing that his time in the room would be fleeting and sitting out merely prolong his time, even if it was only for a few moments. "Do what do I owe the pleasure?"

Saïx could almost growl at the tone the other man used. Acting as though he didn't know his reasoning for visiting him at such an hour when he was the one who began their arrangement in this fashion. He was trying to rile up the other, and it was working to some degree. Despite being fully aware of his lack of heart, when it came to being alone with this man he felt nothing but phantom rage and his blood boiled. Had his fingers been visible, they would both see that his knuckles were clenched so tightly they had gone white with effort. This was of no pleasure, strictly business. His eyes flashed and he saw the man's lips turn into a wider grin. However, Saïx will not yield to the response the man wished for.

"I have come to hand in completed reports, and gain my mission for today's quota." He stated matter of factly. Xemnas turned his wrist, and held it out waiting for Saïx to hand over the papers. He brought the clip board out from under his arm and held the whole thing out to him, letting him collect the papers he wished for. The room was silent, the sound of ruffling paper being the only thing that kept the room from being dreadfully silent. Neither of them blinked, and Xemnas' eyes were still locked on the scarred face of the Diviner. He unclipped the papers without even looking at them, handing the clip board back to him. Saïx simply took it and brought it back under his arm, waiting.

"Commendable work. It's all in its usual order and meticulous stature. I shouldn't have expected any less of you." A smile curved his lips as his orange eyes continuously pierced the other Nobody's golden ones. He pauses a moment, making it appear as if he was contemplating what to say next. But the look Saïx knew all too well. He was stalling, waiting to see if Saïx would respond. But the man would not crack under his gaze. The azure Nobody watched as Xemnas rifled through the papers. Minutes passed, and the silence in the room grew uncomfortable. Xemnas was enjoying it immensely, seeing the Diviner's eyes flicker with frustration.

More time passed, before Xemnas finally he cocked his head slightly, his chin resting against the curve of the inside of his hand once more. "Saïx. What are you still doing here?" He asks in a voice hinting that the man should know what he was about to say next. "You have no mission, so are you staying for some... extracurricular activities?" The words came out in a near purr, mocking the younger Nobody. He was aware as much as Saïx was as to the other member's beliefs as to how their 'relationship' worked. Not that either of them had a relationship to begin with, but Xemnas truly enjoyed toying with the scarred other.

A low growl escaped the back of Saïx's throat and he nearly spat at him. "I am not staying for such matters," He grumbled, his voice laced with disgust. He turned on his heel, his hair flying behind him as he moved. His eyes flashed toward the man's window, his eyes locking on to the dull yellow of Kingdom Hearts. He stood still for a moment, aware that Xemnas' eyes were still on him. Refusing to say anything more, he took several long strides, exiting the room and nearly slamming the door behind him. He could almost hear Xemnas mocking him behind the now closed door.

Needing to distract himself, and get rid of the growing frustration. His steps were rigid as he tossed the clipboard away, hearing it snap on contact with the nearby wall. Soon, he was back in the room he began. He twisted his wrist, creating a portal. He didn't bother to even look at it as he walked through it blindly, welcoming the darkness that surrounded him. Closing his eyes, he stepped through it, not opening them until he was completely through the passage. His golden orbs slowly became visible to the new world. The Dark Margin welcomed him with the dismal view, the only sound being the light brush of the waves against the shore.

Slowly but surely he felt a familiar warmth spread through his being. His eyes fixated onto the moon that shone in distance, and his body began to tremble. Saïx almost snapped as he felt his ears begin to elongate. "I will not break!" he proclaimed to the darkness, his sharpening canines grinding together as his nostrils flared. His eyes locked onto the moon, that was glowing with that same blinding white of the castle. He snarled at it, feeling it's power begin to course through his veins. Saïx, the Luna Diviner, a man as cold and standoffish as it came. But even he had his moments where his limits snapped and he became nothing more than a beast. He embraced his stature as a Nobody, and would deny himself any memories of emotions that would leave him appearing weak or shattered to other members of the Organization. But now that he was under the light of the full moon in the Realm of Darkness all his walls were shattering and only a blinding raw anger filled his being.

He clenched his fists and let out a lowdown growl of frustration. The scar on his face started to become exaggerated and more rigid, appearing as though it had been freshly cut into his flesh. His nails cut through his gloves and he became well aware of the Darkness pooling at his feet. The ground around him began to rumble, and there mere force lifted him from the ground, hovering inches above it. His glowing eyes snapped away from the moon and locked on to the forming Heartless that were beginning to gather around him. He was in full berserker mode as his claymore appeared into his hand, and in a single swift movement, he began his attack.

He flipped the claymore in his hand, bringing it back to slice through the creatures that were gathering in greater and greater numbers. In his enraged state, he didn't see the glowing yellow eyes of the Heartless, but the face of Xemnas; laughing, taunting and simply mocking him. His blade slashed and slashed, ripping through the Heartless one by one, until the familiar fire caught his eye. He practically howled as he whipped around, his eyes locking onto the apparitions. Surely this was petty, but it was how he got his frustration out without bursting a blood vessel from seeing the betrayal in front of him. The moon brought out the animal within, and Saïx was not in the mood to contain it.

Axel's shape smiled at him, holding out a hand in silent request. He could almost hear his true name slipping through the man's lips. He brought his extended claymore back and charged at the vision. "_Traitor!_" He snarled. Several strands of hair fell in front of his face, and in an almost crazed fury swiped at it until it too faded before him, leaving nothing but empty space for more Heartless to fill. Everywhere he looked, all he saw Xemnas, Axel… And that damn boy and the puppet. The more he attacked, the more of them he saw. The trio kept turning their back to him, Axel glancing back to smirk at him. Xemnas would merely glare and laugh, his mouth moved but no sound escaped.

He didn't know how long he was attacking the different faces, the faces of people who had brought him these faux negative feelings, and memories. The mental states that he couldn't shake when he was under the light of the moon; he didn't know if it was solely because of the moon's influence or because of the pent up memories and sensations that the men held. Even as a Somebody he had the tendency to keep things bottled up until he shattered; now was no exception. As the final Heartless disappeared from view, numbness washed over the Diviner's whole being.

His claymore dropped from his hand, the Darkness swallowing it whole. His nails reclined and the scar returned to its original disfiguration. His legs grew weak, and he dropped to the ground. He outstretched his hands to keep himself balanced and just sat there on his hands and knees, trying to recollect himself. He curled his fingers around the sand and blinked a few times, desperately trying to get his sense of self back. He was not going to break here. He was not going to let himself fall into the Darkness that was still circling around him slightly. He looked at it, and let out a low hiss. He knew what it was. What it truly was. It was _Him_, continuing to try and take more of Saïx's remaining humanity; but he would not yield. He would not let himself fade.

"I will not bow to you. I will not give in to your hold!"

The Darkness seemed to rumble back at him, before it disappeared to which it came. Saïx closed his eyes as he felt nothing, zero comprehension for any sensation. His body shook from the shock of the extrusion of power he had just displayed. He listened to the rippling sound of the waves hitting the nearby shore. His hair fell off his shoulders and blocked out his vision of his surroundings, making it so he could only see the azure.

His thoughts slowly came back to him, and his sanity soon after. It was reckless to have these little episodes, especially after such little prompting. But how else was Saïx supposed to respond? He had the maturity that Isa had held, even after the ten year lapse between the Nobody and his Somebody. What else was one to expect when they lose their heart when they were nothing more than a curious teenager? Expelling a shaky breath, he rose one of his hands from the sand, letting the small grains fall as he tucked his hair back behind his pointed ears. Carefully, he rose himself back up from the ground, his legs shaking ever so slightly as he regained his equilibrium.

Going through the motions, he removed his gloves and tossed them to the ground. He looked at the pale hands, dispelling a breath. He was finally beginning to get back to his conventional actions. He drew out a new pair of gloves from his pockets, and slipped them onto his now humanized hands. Clenching his fists for a moment he checked to make sure that the fabric fit correctly. With his anger defused and his detachment to his memories and sensations reimbursed he flicked his wrist, creating a similar portal to the one that he had used to get there in the first place.

Looking at the mixture of blacks and purples, swirling and twisting to create the Corridor of Darkness. He walked through it, feeling the tingling response to walking through it. He squinted his eyes and shielded them as he reappeared in to the rounded Grey Area. His face turned into its set frown, and he snapped his fingers. Instantly, a Dusk appeared before him, holding out the clipboard he had abandoned in his departure. The thoughts of the Dark Margin were gone and his focus was only on the empty clipboard and waiting, waiting as he always did, under the dim light of Kingdom Hearts, for the remaining members to return.

No one would know what the Diviner had gone through in the lapsed time; they would still see him as the man of obedience and order, not for the being he was under the stone mask. Only those faded Heartless and apparitions would ever see him in such a state. Them, and the man he knew was watching him. The orange eyes never failing to notice his movements, the firm hands slowly tightening around the invisible noose that was around Saïx's throat, with the promise of his heart hanging just out of the Diviner's reach.


End file.
